Let's take a vacation from all this history stuff that my newsletter normally contains. This issue will be comprised primarily with jokes.
Bumper Stickers
  • EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later

  • "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes"

  • I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar

  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine

  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot

  • A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries

  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math

  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now

  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps

  • I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

  • Where there's a will, I want to be in it

  • Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs

  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

  • "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy

  • I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

  • Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity

  • What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

  • Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot

  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

  • I am the boss in my household and I have my wife's permission to say so

  • Why is there never enough time to do it right but always time to do it over?

  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  • Men only have two faults: All they say and all they do

  • I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving

  • The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck they will begin making vacuum cleaners

  • Ninety percent of politics is deciding who to blame
Not a Dumb Blonde Joke

A man is sitting on his front porch and notices his neighbor come out of his house, walk to his mailbox, open the lid, mumble something, then slam the lid shut and storm back into his house. This same thing happens a half dozen times in a half hour. The man on the porch is getting curious about his neighbor's conduct. He finally asks him why he keeps going to his mailbox and gets mad. The neighbor replied "Darn computers! Everytime I go into the house, my computer tells me 'You've got mail' but there isn't any in my mailbox!"
Women Are the Stronger Sex

It takes six men to carry a man to his grave but only one woman to put him there!
 
July Brain Teaser

There is only one word in the United States English dictionary that contains NO VOWELS. What is this word? The word is standard and not slang. It is an actual word and not an acronym. Also is it not part of a professional jargon. The word is used by most eveyone at some time or another.

ANSWER: The only word in the English dictionary that does not contain any vowels (a, e, i, o, u and sometimes y) is "sh" as in "Be quiet."

August Brain Teaser

The era is the old west in the United States. A man rides into Dodge, Kansas on Friday. He rides out three days later on Friday. How did he do it?

Answer next issue.

PS: If you make any money by winning bets on these brain teasers, a little commission would be nice :-)


Weird U.S. on the History Channel

The History Channel has a new series worth checking out. The series is Weird U.S. and is on Monday nights. Check your local listings to see what time it is on in your area. The series focuses on the strange, odd, and unique, as well as little-known events in American history. It's not just another Ripley's. In previewing the first two episodes before they aired, not one of the segments I had heard of before. Definately worth checking out.

Online Newspaper Archives Updated

Forty newspapers have been added to the HistoryBuff.com Online Newspaper Archives. The additions include several Washington Post editions reporting the Watergate scandal - from the newspaper that broke the story. Access the Online Archives at http://www.historybuff.com/archives/tree.cgi

1944 Hartford Circus Fire Eyewitness Account

Pauline Slopek has submitted her account of the 1944 Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus fire disaster. She was seven years old at the time and went to the circus with her familly. Read her eyewitness account at http://www.historybuff.com/library/circusfire.html. Mrs Slopek also provided an original edition of their local newspaper with the coverage of the disaster. One of the articles includes information about her family at the circus. Read the front page of this edition at http://www.historybuff.com/archives/magnify.cgi?ID=07-14-1944-1-f-tehnjpg&thumb=1&link_id=1180. Read the article about her family at http://www.historybuff.com/archives/magnify.cgi?ID=07-14-1944-8-f-tehnjpg&thumb=1&link_id=1182.


July Contest


QUESTION: What is the number of the only amendment to the United States Constitution that was repealed?

ANSWER: The 18th amendment (Prohibition). The 21st amendment repealed the 18th amendment.


Forty-two people entered the contest. Eight were disqualifed due to an incorrect subject heading, incorrect answer, or did not indicate which prize they wanted if they won. Three prizes went unclaimed.

The July winners were:

  • Ardis Armstrong - California
  • DeLynne Taylor - California
  • Larry Griffith - California
  • Mark Nagi - Tennesse
  • Thomas A. Read - Washington
  • Donna S. Boyd - Virginia
  • Harry Van Noy - Indiana


This Issue's Question

To enter the Grand Prize Contest, send by email an essay of not more than 75 words relating why you want to win it. One grand prize will be awarded.

To enter the Alternate Contest, answer the question below and indicate which ONE prize you want if you win. (Only one of each is available.)

Alternate Contest Question: What was the 48th state to be admitted to the United States?

Contest Rules

  • Contest entry deadline is Monday, August 15, 2005. Later entries will be disqualified. Winners will be notified by email within 24 hours after the contest deadline. Winners' names and states will be published in the next issue of the HistoryBuff.com Newsletter.

  • Subscribers may enter both contests, but can only win one prize.

  • To enter either contest, email your essay or answer to help@historybuff.com.

  • If entering for the Grand Prize, enter "Contest Entry Grand Prize" for the subject heading. Include ONLY your essay and NOT the answer to the alternate contest question. (Only one grand prize is available.)

  • If entering for any of the alternate contest prizes, enter "Contest Entry" for the subject heading and answer the Alternate Contest Question.

  • If entering both contests, send separate emails.

  • Entries with prize desires such as "any prize is OK," "any of the historic newspapers" etc. will be disqualified. You MUST select ONE prize.

  • From subscribers entering the Grand Prize contest and submitting an essay of NOT MORE THAN 75 words in length, correct subject heading, and submission received by the deadline, will be considered for winning. All other Grand Prize entries will be disqualified.

  • From subscribers entering the alternate contest, submitting the correct answer, correct subject heading, submission received by the deadline, as well as advising which ONE alternate contest prize they want to win, nine will be selected to win one of the alternate contest prizes below.

  • Subscribers to this newsletter that won a prize in my trivia contests in the last 90 days are ineligible to win.

Grand Prize
(One winner will be selected)


Book and DVD documenting the French Revolution
Produced by the History Channel



Alternate Contest Prizes


DVD
Murder on Flight 502 (1975)
Starring:
Farrah Fawcett and Robert Stack


DVD
Little House on the Prairie
Journey in the Spring
(2 hour movie)



DVD
Shirley Temple Shorts
Over one hour of 1930's classics


PC Game
Joan of Arc
Experience Medieval Warfare

Original Historic Newspapers


Original New York Observer historic newspaper from 1836


Original The Union (Washington DC) historic newspaper from 1847


Original The Constitution historic newspaper from 1859


Original Portland Transcript (Maine) historic newspaper from 1880


Original Public Ledger (Philadelphia) historic newspaper from 1895
That's it for this issue.

Rick Brown


HistoryBuff.com, a nonprofit organization, now accepts donations online with contributions through PayPal. To learn more, go to http://www.historybuff.com/donate.html. Thanks in advance.



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